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Monday, October 9, 2017

Truly we live in a new Golden Age

Oh my goodness, the wonders of reality tv shows and game shows and high-quality news on them 24-hours-a-day-a-week news channels is just amazing!  My neighbor Marvin finally paid all the overage charges on his cable bill that he claims not to know anything about and as soon as I got the splicer snuck back on his line, like magic the wonders of the freaking world were laid at my feet-eyeballs.

The very first thing I looked up on On Demand was Celebrity Family Feud.  I love how those Hollyweird FPs know all the answers!  It's like they're peering into all of our souls at once and feeding us back a post-industrial treatise on the epistemological challenges of living in a poly-centered society in which the clashes of traditional and future-leaning forces produce an ever-unfolding Homeric whirlwind, which we denizens of these times is destined to benefit from and suffer from, to degrees that will not be apparent until history nerds look back on us with curiosity and disgust.

Also, isn't it time for another Saved by the Bell reunion?

Here's Marvin.  He's such a wisecracker.

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Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Listen up, jerks. Also, Christmas hopes.

Listen up, jerks. I am very busy fighting NeWASA on this whole burning water lawsuit. As it turns out, you can sue anyone for anything at any time. Who knew? Well, my attorney seems to think I have a very good case, or rather, a long series of cases against most of the richer civil and governmental institutions of this great city and country, don't you know, and his comtingency fees are very reasonable.

Eannyways, this lawsuit is taking up a lot of time with signing papers and hiring witnesses. If I've been remiss in my reviewings of where to drink in Philly, it's because duty calls. Just not jury duty I hope. Unless I could sit on the jury of one of my own cases. Now wouldn't that be fantastic? And very efficient too. Look, I'm just trying to help, you know. Too bad Judge M. Davies is still on mechanical sabbatical.

Also, some of you citizens have asked about my Christmas wishlist. I'll just point out that both these items would make lovely stocking stuffers.

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Friday, December 9, 2016

Ziegler family pride

I was thinking of making this our Christmas card this year.  I'm so proud of little Royda Jr Jr.  Not so much the rest of this unholy mess of a family.

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Tuesday, December 6, 2016

The Christmas spirit, weirdos

Enjoy some lovely stocking stuffers on me!

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Friday, December 2, 2016

Christmas time, you sexy elf freakos!

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Thursday, December 1, 2016

Get it on camera

Ohmygawd, even better.  This is my TOOOOOOOL!!!

You perverts.
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The Right Tool for the Job


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Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Animal World War Has Begun! Fight Dem Bastardos!

Vicious squirrel of Newbridge

How could you people not alert me to this?!?  As mayor, I need to know these things and it's your fault if we all now die in a horrible squirrel drive-by.

New squirrel overlord alert from Philly Boy Roy
New squirrel overlord alert from Philly Boy Roy

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Monday, December 28, 2015

Fire Goat Hero in Sweden!

This guy seems like a hero to me. There's 1) fire and 2) goats. C'mon, Sweden! Get with the program!

Screaming Fainting Goat brings the fire

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Sunday, December 27, 2015

Get faced, but stay away from books.

I did this, too.  I mostly did it for all them deals for stuff you can get.  I don't like how Rhoda can see everything I'm doing.  Sometimes you just gotta do stuff, ya know?  Or look at stuff.  Whatever.

Facebook. Yay.

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